You cannot begin to imagine the number of times I have asked myself the question, is honesty always the best policy? I think in the bridal industry, more so than most businesses, the temptation is to tell the bride what she wants to hear (or you think she wants to hear) vs. what really might be the truth. On the flip side, I think there is also a great temptation for brides to exaggerate or color outside the lines of truth when they are dealing with their vendors. I'm going to tell you why I think in both instances. Honesty is important.
Different body types look best with the right dress style for their body type. Trust your consultant to put you in the right style of dress, even if that is not the style you were originally looking for. Keep an open mind and I think you will find that the proper style for your body type will really make you look your best. Along these lines, prepare yourself to truly hear what your consultant and friends say. If the style you picked makes your backside look bigger than it is...let your friends and consultant nicely tell you that so you can try something else. For
example, if you are a plus size woman, a mermaid style dress is probably not for you no matter how much you want it to be.
When it comes to bridesmaids dresses....while we never want them to out shine the bride, they shouldn't be purposely chosen to have the opposite effect. Bridesmaids, tell the bride what you think, what you like, and what you want. Remember, select a dress style that will flatter many body types....also, there is no rule that says each bridesmaid's dress needs to be the same style (although the same color is important). As a bridesmaid you need to be honest with the bride, and tell her if you really don't like the dress....if everyone feels beautiful, everyone will be happier in the long run.
The first area of honesty is budget. Do not come to a dress shop to look at $5,000 dresses if your budget is really $1,200. Not only will you waste the time of the sales professional, what happens if you truly fall in love with a dress you cannot afford? If that happens, no other dress in your price range will make you as happy. Also, don't be ashamed of your budget. If you have a small budget, there are many beautiful gowns that you can look at, and any true professional should be happy to show you....believe it or not you can get a gorgeous gown for less than $500.
If you have already found your dress and you are visiting another store because you want a better price, while
there is nothing wrong with this, you should still tell the salesperson. Often, only a single vendor will carry a certain style or designer in an area...if you drive all over town looking for the same dress for less, you are wasting time, gas and effort. Along those lines, do not talk about internet dresses, dresses on Ebay, etc. to the dress shop salesperson as a way of getting a better price unless you willing to buy on Ebay. While you can indeed find a great deal on Ebay or some other online marketplace, when you buy there you are assuming a lot of risk and responsibility that the store owner normally would take on. It is not fair to ask them to match the online price AND assume those responsibilities. Here are some of the things you will have to do yourself in order to get the discounted online price:
- measure yourself
- search for the dress
- ask questions
- place the order
- follow the tracking information
- accept shipment
- inspect the dress
- handle any issues if there are defects
- verify the dress is correct
- measure for alterations
- get the alterations done
Another honesty issue is in making and keeping appointments. If you set an appointment with a vendor, you are obligated to keep the appointment or cancel within an acceptable time frame, you are obligated to show up on time and you are obligated to be prepared for the appointment. Failure to show up, showing up late, or not bringing along things you were supposed to, is in my mind being dishonest.
The bottom line is that planning a wedding is a tough job. Why make it harder by putting the obstacle of dishonesty in the way of progress? Everyone wants the same thing, for you to have a beautiful and memorable day...why not
give them all the tools they need to make that happen?